There is so much power that can come from those confronting conversations. Power in the ways of making a stand, being heard and creating a deeper understanding.
Many, many, many confronting conversations have occurred in the last couple of days with myself and the amazing man that stands by my side. Being in a true partnership takes lots of work and even more communication. But that is what we have both chosen to do. To invent a partnership where we can come together as two complete 100{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} beings to create a dynamic 200{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} togetherness.
The 2 x 100{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} completeness has been a shift. See, what I have realised is that when we became “us” I let go of a piece of me in order to create the ‘us’. Why? Because I didn’t know how not to. I didn’t know how to be completely me and allow him to be completely him. I didn’t get that. I didn’t see that. I only saw what I felt to be the ‘right’ way and give up some of me in order to actually be an ‘us’.
Now, that choice I made was a way to protect myself. To feel safer, comfortable, and normal. But a little space within was waving and screaming saying “remember me?” I have been swiped under the rug, but I am still here.
Maybe you understand this. Maybe you don’t. Either way that’s totally ok. But what we have done to literally reinvent our relationship has been the spark of magic. Because when two complete whole beings making a choice to be with each other fully, it creates a future that can inspire our children and their future relationships with their partners.
To come to the place to bring forth all of me I had to look to see what was missing. What was missing from myself and from my relationship that we needed to get into communication about. What was hiding underneath that needed to be expressed?
Oh these conversations are not easy ones. To be able to hold my ownership of what I am feeling without turning to blame, which I find very easy to do by the way. To express to him what is missing without defensiveness coming forward, which is a protective mechanism often turned to in these types of conversations. To just be able to hear and understand which can lead to a deeper more intimate understanding…
The type of relationship we are wanting to invent with each other we have never witnessed in our upbringing. It’s what most people desire but it’s either to hard or the amount of work needed to actually create it is never done.
Knowing we have each other and we are making the stand side by side together no matter how blah it sometimes makes us feel, we feel into those yucky feelings and come out the other side with new understandings and a deeper connection.
