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One area that has been greatly repressed in women for thousands of years is around their voice. “Be seen and not heard” is something that many young girls were conditioned to believe. Or it’s not ladylike to be loud, yell or be angry.

Basically, it’s not allowed to be authentically you. These messages are passed down not only by witnessing it as a child, being told these beliefs but also through the maternal lineage. If you find yourself trying to break this conditioning but find the pattern thoughts and feeling run extremely deep that is because they do.

Speaking your truth, expressing your thoughts, ideas, and desires plus making whatever noise feels good when needed feels so empowering. It’s reclaiming and bringing back a part that was never meant to be shoved away, to begin with. It’s no wonder so many women are suffering from thyroid problems these days.

Years of stuck energy, repressed emotions and not speaking up can be lodged in the throat region. Time to open that throat and find your authentic voice once more.

Here are three ways to allow your voice energy to flow once more.

1. Use it! Start singing, talking (even if to yourself), screaming, or laughing. Now my singing voice is not one to impress an audience but hey I do enjoy putting on some music and singing along.

I remember loving to sing along in the car as a young girl and growing up with three older brothers I was often picked on and they used to make fun of my singing, so I stopped. I felt embarrassed and ashamed for my bad voice and hid away my joy for singing. If that resonates with you…bring it back and just start singing again even if no one is watching.  Talk, Talk and Talk some more.

Express yourself. What do you love, fear, desire? Work the muscles and allow your voice to be heard and start talking. Screaming…I would scream often as a girl because of my brothers picking on me. My parents would come to my rescue and I would walk away like a prissy cat ha-ha. But things changed as my parents split up so I felt no point to scream no one will hear me. So, screaming diminished big time and more and more over time I learn it wasn’t safe or socially acceptable to be an angry person, so I hid that too.

I would have outburst often because I was always trying to shove away the anger and what I really wanted to do which was yell and scream. Well, I am here to tell you to yell and scream, not at someone as that usually does end well, but into a pillow. Just let it out into that pillow when you are upset or feel lots of energy being locked out in your throat. Laugh and laugh as loud as you desire. Laughing will also help to open up the throat and energize your voice.

2. Ladies connect into your divine feminine center. Your anatomy in the throat and in the yoni are very similar. I won’t include an image here but go google vocal cords and you will see what I mean. If you have locked one down it will affect the other. In your pleasure sessions are you super quite, or do you allow the energy to flow through your voice and make noise?

The sexual energy can also be used to nourish and activate the throat. I know when mine is not as open as I would like it or if I am processing a past event where I suppressed my voice because I cough when the energy flows through my throat. So, not only can you tap into your life voice energy to reactivate and reclaim your voice you can also use it to release and heal past times when your voice was suppressed.

3. Give your throat some love. Stroke your neck in a loving massage. Honor all the times she has been there for you and make a new commitment moving forward to her. How is your relationship going to shift with your voice? State your actions to adhere to this new way of partnering with her. And every time you have a “No” with anything moving forward state it out loud.

Rock your no and your new relationship with your voice. Oh, you totally may feel silly on this step, I know I get it, but what if you viewed your throat and voice as a powerful queen always making her needs known? How does this queen expect to be treated?

Your voice is part of your capability to express, delegate, honor your boundaries and state your needs. All of these are essential for you leading your life in the way you design. As a collective, if the energy is flowing through our voices we are modeling a new way for the women in our life. We all rise and shift the current paradigm together.

If step number two seems out of reach I have created an empowering meditation that guides you into your divine feminine energy using your breath and shows you how to nourish parts of you like your throat for you to feel energized, alive and vibrant.

Every journey has its twists and turns. Every year there is a winter before the spring. Are you stopping the journey at the yuck, the resentment, the dark, before even experiencing the spring and flowers at the other end?

I want to validate you for just a second…of course the yuck sucks. It’s not easy to sit in the winter and experience the blistering weather. Society has created a belief that it should be spring and summer all the time so when one experiences a winter phase or moment it’s even more uncomfortable, lonely and often is shoved to the side in the box labelled “not ok”. I have experienced many winters myself but the ones that passed the quickest with beautiful new growth when it passed are the winters I sat in the cold cuddled up to keep myself warm feeling and doing the work to get through it.

Remember spring always comes even after a long winter and with spring there are fresh blossoms, bright greenery, and soil ready to be planted. The same goes for the human soul that is going through the winter. In the dormant cold and dark times under the surface things are regenerating, brewing and waiting for the conditions to shift so growth and blossoms can occur. So, if we know it will come, why are we so quick to bring in artificial light to hide the dark? Because winters don’t feel good. With winters come under the surface shifts. You can see the shifts and sometimes they are so cold you can’t even feel them. But what’s occurring under the surface is stories that are no longer serving you, they are being let go of to make space for a new one.

Often its these past stories that are being held onto so tightly that have become enmeshed into the identity that create the hold and cause the pain. It hurts to let go of what was to make room for what is. Also, the yuck itself may have become a crutch and something others recognise you as that to loosen its grip to bring in spring would mean that new growth would have to happen as the old is no longer there to grab onto. It would need to finally be released for the blooms to emerge. Often this is the scariest of all. Being in control of letting go to bring yourself into spring time again.

But what if the winter times shifted from a feeling of resentment to a feeling of respect? Respecting the cycle and know that spring time is on its way. With respect we see the need, the process and ultimately the beauty of it. To respect your own process. Know what support you need to be in your winter and gain the tools to soothe during the dark times.

I have experienced many winters in my lifetime. Over time I allowed the winters to happen vs pretending they didn’t exist. You know the saying you must go into the dark to see the light. Well it’s the dark that seem to hold tight grips on us because suppressing it takes so much energy that eventually theres nowhere else to go but into it. But the dark offers so many gifts. Gifts that can be felt when venturing through but are seen in the new blossoms when the light shines again.

You can’t avoid the winters for ever. You can’t run from them or pretend they are not a part of the cycle. Get support. Learn the tools to hold yourself. Communicate your needs. Go into the dark to witness the winter and come out into the light freer, lighter and more complete.

There is something that emerges when you continue to go to places you have never been before. You see things that weren’t visible prior. You create a new understanding and relationship to your experiences. Once you have dove in to all places within, not to fix or get rid of but to witness and truly see a newness can emerge.

I think I have spent over $100k in the last four and half years on coaches and courses. Most of those I went into in a, I’m broken please fix me space. I was a broken girl in a 30 year old body. I didn’t know where to start or what to do. I just felt I was F’d up and someone must know how to make me feel whole again.

Each coach and each program took me to new places within. I grew each time and took away new understandings. I have gone to places within that most avoid. And because of the hard work I know I am not broken, and for the first time since I was a young child I feel whole, complete and perfect. From this space I seek coaches and courses to support me to further my learning experience.

I have also noticed I am no longer scared to walk into a space, course or coaching program because there is no place I haven’t already visited. I know nothing will break me. I know my strength deeply and intimately.

Two and a half years ago I walked into a transformational coaching workshop, thinking it was going to be more personal development. A ‘give me knowledge and fix me’ space. I quickly discovered the depth of holy Sh”t that was in the room. I remember literally sitting in my chair in the room of probably at least 100 plus people curled in a ball crying over other people’s feelings and experiences. I was lost in my triggers and didn’t know how to be with any of it. I thought I knew so much and had come so far to only be shown I haven’t really done any work on myself yet.

The last two days I was in the same room with the same mentors. This time my experience was completely different. I felt energised, connected, aware and fully in my power. I was able to witness others emotions, feel their pain and sadness but this time I didn’t have to curl and hide in a ball. At one point I had emotion rush through me. Not emotion of sadness, pain or anything I had hidden in the background, but emotion of acknowledgement of the journey I have been on since that day two and a half years ago. The amount of tears, pain and integration that has taken place. The courage it took for me to go to all the places I have gone to and to fully embrace the strength and amazing women that I am today.

Childhood trauma, pain, sexual trauma, broken marriage, business, leadership, motherhood, the dark parts of identity and sexuality are places I have gone in my journey over the last four years. Ah looking at this I brag about my courage. Knowing without the courage to do the work I would still be the broken, sad, child dressed as an adult. But it is because I did the hard work and chose to go to all these places that I can know make the stand for YOU.

I can open the door for you. To help you to start your journey whatever that journey may be. What you want and desire.

To guide you, your home within. To feel home in your body once again. To know your own courage and to know you are held by someone that has done the work not just in theory but in the body.

Freedom from the confines that have been created whatever they may be for you.

Old patterns came rushing back. I felt the spiral coming and this time I could feel it. I could almost see it out in front of me. I chose to look away pretend it wasn’t there but it seemed to get closer and closer waiting for me to open my eyes to look straight at it. And as I looked, I saw the triggered so blankly I couldn’t ignore it.

I had a choice to make. 1. Act like I never saw it and continue to behave through my triggered part or 2. Acknowledge the trigger, why it’s there, and nourish myself through it. Number 1 would have been the same pattern and story I have played to many times to count in my life. Thus, it’s so well known it would have been easy to stay there. But because I was able to see who was hiding behind the trigger I chose to love and nourish myself through it.

Abandonment showed it’s face and the little girl in me felt scared, hurt, unloved and wanted to push everyone away so she could hide and see who would come to her rescue. My husband was leaving for 3 weeks and this part of me freaked out. It was as if I had a neon sign blinking within, “ABANDONED”. My little girl within me wanted to take over. Play her games and make life miserable for everyone around to cover up this fear and feeling. Even with all the work I have done there are still parts within that can get triggered and jump to old patterns and games. I don’t judge that they are there and still getting triggered, but I gauge my growth with how quick I can recognise them and come back into alignment.

So, I got to work. I spent some time loving and nourishing the inner girl that was freaking out. Yes, I had a conversation with her. I also liberated the abandonment emotion that was clinching in my stomach using my breath and some movement. With these steps I was able to fully embrace what was occurring within. Not to try to get rid of it but to acknowledge it’s there, love it and integrate it.

Triggers will happen but the more I have integrated past events and pains the less they come. But each time I experience being triggered I see it as an opportunity to learn, grow and integrate something that is ready to be healed.

These three emotions could be affecting your network marketing business

You may not even realise that your emotions could negatively be impacting your business. I think this fact is often overlooked especially if it’s not a typical emotion that has a very obvious expression like yelling or crying. But these three emotions can absolutely be a big cause of you being stuck in your business.

Resentment

I think I see this one the most. I also personally experienced this emotion quite a bit in my own business journey. Did you know resentment is a sub-personality of anger? Yep that’s right if you are feeling resentment towards someone, underneath it is most likely anger. In network marketing, I think I see this emotion a lot because we can’t fire those we are working with like we could in a “real” job and often people say they are going to do something and end up not doing it. Or we resent them choosing to not do the business anymore or maybe you resent your upline because they aren’t working, not following through with promises or simply your hard work is bringing them a pay check.

Whatever the underlying reason and the million reasons to validate why you feel that way it most likely is affecting you and your business in one way or another. I have even seen people have so much resentment towards someone else they punish themselves by choosing to not do what they can to increase their own pay check if it benefits this other person.

Here’s the sneaky thing about resentment………the person feeling it often doesn’t recognise it because they are not “angry” and they think they are holding the power by making decisions and playing cards even if they are the one that losing out the most. It’s like they are trying to punish the other but if they were able to see it for what it is they are only hurting themselves. When resentment is recognised and released I noticed in myself and others I work with space opens both mentally and energetically.

Overwhelm

Oh overwhelm you sneaky little – I mean – big thing you! Ah, this sucker comes in the back door and makes itself at home and feels like it will never leave. When someone is living in overwhelm underneath that is usually the emotion you like to avoid feeling….Fear.

Yep that’s right its fear that’s holding you back, making you feeling like you can’t do anything or take any action and causing the agitation feeling in your body. Overwhelm makes it easy to not push through the resistance. To completely stop any forward motion and to get acceptance from others in the process. Sorry, I can’t continue to take the actions to build my business because I am so overwhelmed. It’s the holidays, the kids are out of school, I ran out of people to talk to, the market is saturated and my house is a mess…

Now all of that is completely valid right? Everything is what most of us experience and can relate to. But lifting the lid on overwhelm fear is winking its eye at you. Taking action and allowing overwhelm to take place in your body and mind at the same time doesn’t work – usually you can’t do both. So, instead of really sitting with the fear and the resistance you may stay in overwhelm which means none or very little action and thus your business is massively affected.

Judgement

77{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} of distributers in the US are women. And if you are a woman in the US, and most likely many other cultures as well, judgement has been something that has been conditioned into you from a very young age. Not only judgement of yourself but judgement of those around you. Judgement is a sub-personality of disgust. You might find yourself being disgusted or not kind to yourself and your people in your team or upline.

Let me start with how judgement can be affecting your business personally when you judge yourself.

‘I can’t believe I still haven’t reached the next rank. I better be able to find new business builders soon.’

‘If only I had the skills she has then I would be further along.’

‘I am not the right body type to be a strong leader.’

‘I am just not smart enough.’

These are only a few examples. I am sure you can think of ones you may hear when you pass judgement on yourself. On top of this, often judgement is passed on to those in our business, upline or crossline.

Maybe these sounds familiar.

‘I can’t believe she is talking about that.’

‘OMG she wore that.’

‘She is a stay at home mom she has no excuse to not do her business actions.’

‘She seriously didn’t even talk to the client about the product when she had a golden opportunity.’

‘I think she just wants to sit back and collect a check and do nothing.’

Judgement is often so ingrained that it takes a lot of awareness to realise that you are doing it. But the more time you spend judging yourself and others around you, the more you are bringing your energy down, leaking energy and affecting your business. It affects your connection to yourself and will negatively affect you reaching your goals, or even feeling like it’s safe to go after your goals.

If there is so much judgement from within no way is it safe to be successful because then judgements will intensify, I won’t be safe. I won’t belong and no one will love me.

One or all three of these emotions may have made you perk up your ears slightly to how your business may be impacted by these hidden emotions.

Well, the good thing is – awareness is the first step. You can’t change anything you are not even aware of. All these emotions can be governed, and you can fill the energy leaks that have limited you from being empowered and staying grounded, when you would typically get triggered into the same emotional pattern.

This is one reason why I love working with woman and their emotions, especially entrepreneurial women. Because through the embodiment of power they can start to feel. This leads to actions that can bust through these hidden emotions which allows them to own what they feel and go for what they want.

I have created a 4 week course all on emotions and shifting them into an empowered space. CLICK HERE for more information or to sign up.

January 11, 2011 is the day I received the most amazing gift.

One I didn’t know I needed or even thought  twice about until the last couple of years. Yes, this was the day my precious daughter and first child was born but that wasn’t the gift I am referring to, even though she in herself is a gift to this world. It is what  she opened up for me that has turned into the most amazing gift.

I planned a water birth at a birth center in Orange County. Of course pregnancy and labour being very medicalised, especially in the US,  and at the time I was working full time as a nurse in the hospital. People thought I was crazy for two reasons. One, I wanted a drug free birth. And two, I wanted it outside a hospital. Why I wanted a drug free birth came from a strong knowing within that if I wanted to really be present for the birth. To do that I needed to not be numbed. Also, being sensitive to medications myself I didn’t want the meds passing to my child. Choosing to have it out of the hospital was because I knew I wanted freedom to move, have a water birth, not be asked about drugs and I wanted to bring my child into this world in a more home-like setting. I worked at the hospital and there was nothing homie or calm about it. So, I followed this internal push and had to trust.

My labouring process was intense. I experienced back labour which means all the contractions were in my back and it felt more like nerves contracting then the uterus. I laboured on all fours or in the warm shower for as long as the hot water lasted. During this process that was completely out of my control I learned to surrender into the experience. I discovered how to fully drop into my body and be with the experience. For someone that was a control freak and suffered sexual trauma I fought this reality for as long as I could until I finally let go. And that’s when my world was opened to this primal nature I had within.

What was unleashed that day was a part of me I didn’t know existed. A raw, earthy, warrior, fully present with her body and its power, knows and follows what the body wants and was not afraid to fully use her sound. It’s hard to even describe in words this part of me. But being in all fours I was moving my body in a way that was new, I was making sounds I don’t think I ever allowed myself to make and I was fully connected to this place within my body. It was as if the shell of this composed modern women was left and this ancient wildly part emerged.

Now that I can look back at it I see the gift it gave me, but in the moment I didn’t understand who that person was and quite frankly I was embarrassed. I couldn’t believe I lost my “strength and composure”. Within the next day from this embarrassed and judging place within I asked my husband what he thought of the labour and specifically how I “acted” and his response deepened the gift –  “you were just so primal”. I thought primal…..hmmmm that’s interesting. Well ok, and moved on. He still accepted me and loved me even at my “weirdest time” – ah thank goodness. I honestly thought I would have scared him off!

At the time this primal response stayed in the back of my brain. And two and half years later when I went into labour with my son I knew I could do it but I resisted this primal part more because I developed this embarrassed and weird relationship to her. I never fully allowed her to unleash. This unknowingly occurred as I rejected a part that is me and is always within.

These last couple of years as I have learned to recover these lost pieces of myself and while doing practises to come back into my raw primal self I discovered the gift my daughter unlocked within me. Because of her I had a very intimate relationship with my primal nature. I had embodied her for 12 hours. She got me through and showed me a power I didn’t realise was there. She opened a gateway to the knowing that lies within my body. And showed me what it is like to surrender, listen and be with what it occurring. To use movement and sound to move energy and to embody an experience.

This gift of embodying my primal self, connecting so deeply into my body and surrendering has been a huge part of my transformation these last couple of years. Something I didn’t understand eight years ago and actually rejected at first has now integrated and become a part of me that I am so deeply grateful for. So on this day  January 11 2018 I thank my amazing daughter. For showing me a new part of myself and my husband for opening the door to accepting this part of me.

Happy birthday Kaleena. The many joys and gifts you have given me you may  never know but I hope you know everyday how deeply

We are all queens in our own way. The cool thing about owning your queen is you can allow her to show up in any area of your life whether that’s when owning your power, your emotions, your pleasure – you can queen it. But what I have noticed not only on my own journey but also with working with hundreds of women is how often not having the tools to be with emotions, process them and relate to them in an empowering way has completely disempowered them from going for their goals.

Emotions are just a chemical reaction within the body. It’s how we relate to the chemical reaction that creates the external response. Now learning to govern your emotions doesn’t mean you need to be stoic, hard and brush everything off that happens. No! Learning to govern your emotions means you feel it and you relate to it so you can know what it’s teaching you, or the boundary that you need to set or it how to liberate it to use it for fuel on your journey vs it taking you off the path.

I don’t know about you, but I grew up with three older brothers and a dad that didn’t express any emotions besides anger till they were much older and a mom that was “overly emotional” and thus portrayed as weak. She was treated as less because of her heart and expression of her emotions. As a little girl I picked up on that dynamic, plus I wanted to fit in with the boys. So, being emotional or showing feeling was something that as I grew older and became more aware, I shoved it down and brushed it away. I acted like the “men” and was hard, tough, rough and was known to get in a few fistfights or two because that’s what you do, right? Men fight to get through their shit.

What this lead to was lots of feelings of very dramatic anger freak outs. Bouts of severe depression. Lots of health challenges and having the biggest guard up around my heart that friends and especially men were never getting through. It literally lead to a life of not caring and just saying F-u to anyone and anything that pissed me off, pushed me back or triggered my unintegrated traumas. I felt empty, disconnected from myself, my spouse, my passions, my body and especially my joys.

So, I went on a search to find someone or something that could fill me with joy. Men were a big one. What I discovered was anytime I would sense it wasn’t going to work, I started to care too much or felt unsafe, and I would run. Work was another one. Sure achieving something can bring joy to my life. Nope I lost myself even more in it because I was constantly trying to prove I was worthy which got exhausting. Kids, although they bring me so much joy, they also triggered every part within me that felt not good enough, unworthy and I was triggered almost daily on an emotional level because I didn’t know how to be with my feelings and didn’t know how to feel.

Underneath all of this was a huge disconnection to myself. I had energetically cut myself off from my body. The only time I would really feel my body was when it was injured or sick. So it basically had to scream at me for me to listen enough to try to get better. But that cycle continued. My body was trapped with so many old emotions they were causing it to have physical responses. Now, I did not know that then because I didn’t have the knowledge I do now. But looking back I know that because I didn’t have the tools, confidence or understanding around my emotions it impacted my physical and emotional health.

On the journey over the last 6 years, there are two things that have forever changed how I show up and live on a day-to-day basis. One was owning the power of my pleasure and my sexuality. Two is discovering how to clean up old trapped emotions, relate to present emotions and how to liberate them while being grounded or being able to get back to center quickly. Number two is what lead me to create Queen it: 4 weeks to govern your emotions.

If I have been able to come into myself, discover joy and stop walking around like a triggered, angry, disconnected person, I know I can and will help others do the same. Our ability to feel is our power but it’s often disregarded because it’s not acceptable. So let’s start to feel. Feel empowered. Gain the tools to liberate our emotions and take on the world in a way you didn’t know was possible.

What I love most about what I created is it’s about you. I am not the guru. I am not the one that fixes everything. I am the facilitator of change. The role I chose for myself is to provide you with the tools, education, understanding and give you the space that’s safe to allow the learnings to unfold. To model the tools and the changes. To bring love, compassion and acceptance to all parts of ourselves. To aim not for perfection, but to embrace our humanism. All while embodying the change so the men in our lives learn how to embrace an emotionally empowered women and the children learn a new way to relate to themselves and the events that occur in their world in an embodied way.

Image how life would have been different for you if you had these tools as a child. How would it be different if you modelled your emotionally empowered mother or father and accepted no matter the feelings. How do you think you will feel if you start to relate to the emotion(s) that seemed to pull you down with a love and acceptance? What if you could even feel more powerful from these emotions as they are liberate through you? Would your life be impacted if you no longer handed the power over to your fear or anxiety? How would that change your life or your business? I know it did for me and it as also allowed me to embrace the higher vibration emotions more as well because I know I can handle the lower vibration emotions too.

As you can tell this is a topic I am extremely passionate about. Something I want every woman to learn to discover the power for herself. Why not start off the New Year learning new tools. Being guided through new practices. Relating to your body in a new way. And take on the year feeling the power and the freedom learning to govern your emotions brings you.

Click here to sign up for the 4 week course.