Missy Garcia

Scary Truth Of Having A Toxic Mouth- Part 3

Four months post-surgery and it feels in many ways like I am busting out of the cocoon of healing. Every person is different in regards to their own individual healing process as we all are slightly genetically different. We live in our own unique environments and have exposure to different chemicals and chosen lifestyles. All of which play a role in the body’s ability to heal, recover, and thrive. 

I think it’s important to learn what others have done so that you can choose to learn more for yourself or decide that’s not for me. So, I want to break down my personal healing journey post-surgery and what I know has made an impact on my recovery for those interested or maybe going through a similar journey. But, first as promised I want to tell you a little bit about cavitations.

The dentist described it to me so perfectly that it just made sense. The cavitations I had were at the site of my wisdom teeth extraction. Every tooth is held in place by a periodontal ligament. This ligament anchored the tooth into the bone and acts as a shock absorber when we chew.  Standard procedures with tooth extraction is to not intentionally take out this ligament. 

Sometimes, it comes with the tooth but other times it doesn’t. When the ligament is left in place, then it impairs the healing and doesn’t always allow for new bone formation to fill in the extraction site. This then leaves a hole and the body heals the hole by covering up the top of it ultimately leaving a gap and space for bacteria to grow. That cover she told me feels like a soft crunchy bone when she cuts through it to get to what’s underneath. I had a cavitation site as large as 5mm x 5mm. I just wanted to lead with this because I didn’t even know a thing or had even heard the word cavitation prior to less than a year ago and who knows how many of us have them. All I know is that my jaw used to click about 85% of the time when opening it to capacity and now maybe it happens twice a month and I can bet that these cavitations getting cleaned out and healed have something to do with that. 

So, now I want to chat with you about what I did to recover, heal and bring my body back to a more functioning state.

First, again as a holistic nurse and hippie at heart, I did everything as natural as possible. The only thing that was not natural was the conscious sedation during the procedure and the pain relief/anti-inflammatory they gave me during the procedure.  

• Post-procedure I was given IV vitamin C. We all know vit. C as immune-boosting but the powers of vit. c go beyond that. It’s high in antioxidants, promotes cellular healing, collagen growth, plus helps rid the body of toxins. I had three IV treatments in total. Two through the dental office and one at an IV bar (these are cool). Once I no longer had access to IV vitamin C then I took liposomal vitamin c instead

• I received 3 acupressure treatments at the dental office. These helped to promote healing, decrease pain and inflammation and absolutely calmed my nervous system which is so important as it gives my body the environment to heal

• I also used a red light. The red and near-infrared light therapy.  I got it shipped to my mom to bring to Texas with her and then I hauled it back here. I have fallen in love with this therapy. It helps with pain, inflammation, collagen production, wound healing, muscle recovery all of which are what I needed.  I have used it for many things now that it’s a tool in my arsenal. I have even used it on my dog’s wound and sore joints. My mom used it on her hurt knee. 

If you want to check out the one I got here is a link. Full disclosure: I get a kickback if you order since I decided to become an affiliate cause I loved mine so much

• Epsom salt baths were top priority and of course, I used essential oils in the salts to target my needs that day. The magnesium in the salts helps to soothe the tissues, calm the body and the warm calm environment again helps to rest the nervous system. Plus, epsom salt baths can gently help the body with detoxification

• Sea salt/ essential oil mouth rinse. After eating or drinking things other than water or if I was experiencing more discomfort, then, I turned to this mouth rinse. I blended up myrrh, clove, helichrysum, on guard, frankincense and copaiba into a dropper bottle and then added a few drops to the salt prior to putting it in warm water

• Essential oils that I used topically on my jawline and under my nose were helichrysum or frankincense or copaiba and sometimes I layered all three. But, I will tell you I have a new appreciation for helichrysum now. It was one I never really used before but I know it made a huge difference in my recovery

• Other vitamins and supplements….my regular vitamins I take daily… lifelong vitality pack, which is important as I wasn’t eating a ton but I absolutely needed these essential vitamins and minerals. Plus, heaps of deep blue polyphenol complex and bone nutrient complex (extra vitamins specifically for the bones). I also took liposomal glutathione to support detoxification and collagen powder to help bone and tissue healing

• Once I was home, about 1 week post-op, I did a gut cleanse using the Gx assist. I needed my gut healthy and free of overgrowth of bacteria for me to give myself the internal environment to fully heal

• Protein. Lots of protein that can be found in smoothies by adding hemp protein and in foods, I chose to eat. It is essential to have protein to heal properly

• Rest, rest, and rest. I fully gave myself permission to just rest. Rest my mind as well as my body. I gave myself no agenda or timeline. I allowed what my body wanted and needed. About 3 weeks after surgery I started walking more. Then, about a month and a half after I started working out. Time to sweat out the toxins

• I ate healthy as organic as possible, limited sugar intake (if any) and looked to provide my body with nourishing foods each meal. Also, I drank lots of alkaline water

• 2 homeopathic remedies I used often during the first week were arnica which helps with pain and inflammation, and staphysagria that promotes wound healing. I am extremely grateful my husband is a homeopath because this was one holistic remedy I didn’t use or know much about prior to his training

Hmmm, I think I included everything. Although I had lots of highs and lows while healing, I felt that almost every day I was getting stronger. I knew just the removal of the bacteria that was lingering, growing, and thriving in my mouth wouldn’t be enough for me to change how my body was feeling. I needed to tackle the built-up toxicity, immune system fatigue, and systemic inflammation. I needed to fully team up with my body and provide what is needed to the best of my knowledge to come out the other end better than before. Well, here I am 3 less teeth and feeling 10x better in regards to my health and vitality.

This journey has taught me a lot. Not only about dental health but my personal capacity of what I can journey through. It also showed me how much I love the body and its ability to communicate and heal. It reignited my passion for holistic health because I was ankle-deep in it beyond what I was used to for so long. This opened me up to realize I was missing something and wasn’t honoring myself or those I can serve in the world fully and led me to get training in functional medicine. 

It’s all connected: mind, body, soul. I look forward to the future of me not only feeling amazing but also supporting others to holistically do the same. 

Oh, if you are not familiar with doTerra and their products- the oils and many of the supplements I used are from them. I can help you to learn and use them if needed. Just get in touch. Or here is my website to shop on your own. 

Well, that is it. This feels complete for me. This chapter is closing. Ah, it feels so good to be here! On to the next chapter while holding all the learnings, growth, and expansion this chapter brought. 

Scary Truth Of Having A Toxic Mouth- Part 2

As I arrived for my first visit with the doctor,  I was nervous as hell. I was literally shaking, cold and my voice was trembling. Was this the right choice? A choice that can not be undone? What will my front tooth look like? How will I feel? Will it make a difference in how I feel? Ultimately, will it be worth the time, money, or energy? So many questions ran through my head as I sat in the chair. Over the hours I was in the office that day,  my nerves eased, my questions were answered and I felt more aligned to the choice I was making for my health. 

I want to start by telling you why I made the choice to get 3 root-canal treated teeth extracted. What we have been led to believe is that when you get a root canal, the tooth is scraped and cleaned out from the inside and sterilized leaving zero possibility for bacterial growth and infection. I know I believed that to be true but, as I learned from research and going through the process myself, I knew that that is not the case. 

It’s impossible to remove all bacteria from the inside of the tooth and to completely sterilize it. Inside the tooth, microscopic tubules, like tiny straws that connect the enamel to the pulp (inside of the tooth) exist.  The purpose is structural but it also works as the alarm system signaling abnormalities going on with the tooth. There are 5,000-90,000 per square millimeters inside of the tooth which makes a perfect hiding place for bacteria and realistically impossible to clean out each one. What a root canal procedure does is suck out all the living pulp inside the tooth, clean it to the best of their ability and then cement it in, filling the tooth in and blocking the tubules. This means no more life to the tooth, no more natural alarm system and with the cut out of the alarm system, the immune system is shut down to the tooth as well.  So, how the heck would you even know if that tooth was breeding, harvesting, thriving in bacteria? You wouldn’t! Until it gets so bad you start to notice “other” symptoms which may or may not be localized to the area/tooth. If localized, the pain will most likely arise from an abscess or the infection spreading outside the tooth to the jaw. But, the “other” symptoms can be huge so if you haven’t already read part 1 check it out and you will see what my symptoms were.  Scary Truth of Having a Toxic Mouth Part 1.

As I went through my day doing all my pre-op work, my nerves settled because I received not one but multiple confirmations that there were some serious infections brewing inside my mouth. The first thing was getting a cone beam x-ray. This is a 3D x-ray that allows the doctors to see a lot more than a normal x-ray can show. 

My regular x-ray showed my upper right molar #3, where I was experiencing a lot of discomforts, that there was something on the root tip- an infection, abscess, or something of some sort. The other two root-canal treated teeth were not physically bothering me in terms of local symptoms to my mouth and nothing showed on a typical x-ray either. However, it’s important to note any chronic infection big or small will be taxing to the immune system, nervous system, and increasing allostatic load and what the physical body can tolerate. So, as I sat with the doctor looking over my cone beam results not only did she confirm I had a large abscess on #3 but also #14 (the same tooth left upper side) was infected where the tip of that tooth (14) lied up against my nasal cavity. I had a polyp growing inside. Plus, the nasal cavity was extremely inflamed. Hmm, the culprit for all my sinus issues? I would absolutely say it would be a huge culprit if not the culprit. My front tooth #8 didn’t seem too bad which was good news. 

Also, on the cone beam was 4 cavitations on all my wisdom teeth extraction sites. I will do another educational blog on cavitations in part 3 especially because cavitations were something I had no idea about personally until 6 months ago. 

Okay, so the cone-beam results proved I wasn’t crazy. It confirmed that my body had been reacting to infections. I mean I had my first root canal in my very early twenties. This alone would impact my body which of course would lead to the chronic fatigue symptoms because my body was using up lots of my energy to combat these chronic infections with no progress causing my immune system to try to fight harder to no avail.  Quite a vicious, unhealthy cycle which drained my energy, weakened my immune system and who knows what else occurred internally as a means to compensate for this cycle.

The second thing that confirmed I was making the right choice was when I got my teeth cleaned. The hygienist was doing the measurement on my gums to analyze for gum disease. You know, when they start spewing out 1,2 or 3’s. Well, everything gum wise was good until she was going around those back molar root-canal treated teeth. They both had deep pockets around the tooth. Why? It is because they were infected and inflamed. The funny thing was, she said prior to working in that office, she would notice how root-canal treated teeth would always be worse than none root -canal treated teeth and would just notice it and think it was weird but never thought it was the culprit because of what she was taught. Now that she knows what she knows, it all made sense. Of course, the gums fighting the tooth are toxic and the body is going to create an inflammatory response to try to isolate the infection. When you can logically think about it then, it makes sense right? Dead tooth, no immune system able to access it, isolating it off making it chronically inflamed all while the bacteria locked inside is thriving and leaking its exotoxins out into the body creating even more toxic stress. Honestly, it frustrates me so much now that this procedure is so normalized, doctors very rarely even consider oral health with patients and yet people are suffering and not getting the answers they so desperately want and need.  

Ok, moving on. Well, the amazing thing was I knew I was in the right place and making the right decision which helped to settle my mind and calm my heart allowing me to be energetically ready for the procedure the next day. The beauty of it was that it would be done in the most holistic way possible which furthermore will decrease the allostatic load on my body.  I loved that they used ozone on the surgery sites because we knew by this point there were definitely infections happening and ozone will be able to kill them. I loved how I got IV vitamin C vs antibiotics because it would not be good to take an antibiotic which would wipe out my microbiota (gut flora) because if you didn’t already know 70-80% of the natural immune response lives in the gut, plus vitamin C will be supportive with helping my body to detox out the exotoxins from the bacteria, chemicals and is supportive for healing. The other amazing thing they do is they took my blood, spun it, and created a platelet clot with it and put that in the extraction sites. That promoted healing prevented infection and dry sockets from forming. 

Of course, being the science-based person that I am, I wanted to see pictures of the teeth once they came out. Well, #3 was so brittle that it came out in so many little pieces they couldn’t get images. That is a huge confirmation that root-canal treated teeth are healthy. But, I did get images of #14 and #8. As you can see, they don’t look very vibrant and healthy either. These images were reassuring for me to see post-op as it further confirmed I had made a good choice. 

The last thing was to wait for the lab results. The doctor took cultures from each extraction site and cavitation and sent it to be analyzed. I wanted to know what was brewing there because well, I just wanted to know. The results came out about two and a half weeks later. It was not a pretty sight. When there are excess amounts of bacteria then there is harm. I definitely had many strains in excess as you can see. 

I want to finish this blog talking about the procedure and initial recovery for a minute. I will write about cavitations and then part 4 on my healing progress soon. 

So, on the day of the procedure, I was again nervous. Three things were stressing me out the most. 

1. What the heck will my front tooth look like when I wake up? My brother teased me to get what he called a pirate picture before they bonded on a new “tooth”. Of course, I told him to “f” off. 

2. The pain of the procedure and post-op recovery. 

3. My own personal reaction to the medications as I haven’t used any pharmaceuticals in 8 years.

Well, I am happy to report that the pain was so minimal. I had acupressure pre-op and post-op. The following day and in between,  I used essential oils on my jaw, in my salt warm water rinse, took natural anti-inflammatory capsules, and used an infrared light. All of which left me with just slight discomfort. Other than feeling drowsy for a couple of days, I didn’t have any negative reactions to the medications and I am thankful I used them during the procedure.

As for the front tooth, I can no longer bite into food directly because that may cause it to pop out of the bond and it took quite a bit of time to get used to the feeling of it in my mouth with the bonding but by the looks of it, I have no complaints. I may decide to get a ceramic implant later but it needs to fully heal first. So, all and all, these are good things. Flying post-op wasn’t pleasant as the pressure definitely made me more uncomfortable but I am glad I went to Marble Falls, Texas and saw Dr. Freeman. 

This was a hard choice to make. But, I know I made the right one. Without health, then there is no possibility to thrive. Why just survive when you can thrive, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually?

Scary Truth Of Having A Toxic Mouth Part 1

I mean that title literally. I am not talking about the words that come out of your mouth and what that can do. I am meaning this in the most literal fashion. My mouth is making me sick and here is an inside look to the twist life has given me that I am choosing to share. 

The last couple of months haven’t been easy for me physically and emotionally. If I am honest, I can look back and notice symptoms that have been occurring for years but the symptoms got progressively worse in the last few months. It started with my jaw clicking when I would open it wide to it literally being frozen to only opening about 3 quarters of the way to a chronic ache in my jaw. It never was the traditional tooth pain symptoms. It has always been a gnawing bone pain in my jaw. But, then all the other symptoms hit….my clothes stopped fitting, the right side of my body would ache, I would be exhausted all day everyday, brain fog, memory lapses, headaches plus swollen lymph nodes on the right side of my neck, mood imbalanced, sinus issues and my thyroid not functioning optimally.

As I brushed off each individual symptom as they would come and go and the only consistent one being the jaw pain, I didn’t know what was happening but I thought maybe it was something emotional and the pain was from clenching my teeth at night from it. As I was meditating one day, it was as if I had flashbacks of all the times I had heard, seen and even read information around root canals and the negative effects they can have on your health that I knew my root canal was infected. 

As you may or may not know I am a holistically trained registered nurse so my brain, thoughts and the way I treat and respond to my body or ailments that show up is completely different than what most do. I do not run to get meds. I explore and learn to get answers. So, the first step was a confirmation of what I deeply believed to be the culprit of my pain. Upon x-rays from the dentist, he could see the infection at the root of my root canal treated tooth.. Step two was to find my next step. Now, my next step was not just for this particular tooth but I have three root canal treated teeth and so if I was going to go down the path of healing my mouth I knew I had to go all in to allow full healing to occur which meant I need to take care of my other two root canals as well. By taking care of means, I need to get them extracted. 

As I have been learning more around the health impact of oral health for the entire body, what root canals can do to one’s overall health and the specific organs that can be affected by the bacteria or the meridian in which the treated tooth lies, things started to make sense. I was diagnosed with Hashimotos in 2010. I had always thought it was solely diet-related. I since discovered that I was gluten intolerant and once I adjusted my diet and started using supplements to support my inflammatory system as well as using essential oils for my thyroid I was able to manage my thyroid health naturally. But, what I had learned is that two of my root canal treated teeth lie on the meridian of my thyroid. That means they are in direct communication with one another.

When the dead tissue of the tooth is sitting there on that meridian it will impact the proper flow of that energy line. So, this infection on that meridian line would be negatively impacting my thyroid health. The weight gain, mood imbalances, skin issues, brain fog, exhaustion are all signs of a thyroid imbalance as well. Who knows what bacteria is brewing under there but I will be finding out after then send it to the laboratory to get tested. 

It’s not like it’s new knowledge that the bacteria in the mouth can impact the body. I even remember learning in nursing school how an oral infection can cause heart problems. I think what is misunderstood and often not thought about is the root canal still is infected or creating a bacterial playground inside your mouth. I can tell you, it never crossed my mind because after the root canal was gone, so was the pain which meant the infection must be gone too. Well more on that in part two. 

So, I know the root of my pain now which helped calm my mind tremendously because at times I would guess am I making this up? Is this just a psychosomatic thing that’s occurring? Don’t get me wrong. I believe everything physical thing also has an emotional tie but what is going on inside my mouth won’t fully heal unless I deal with the physical side of it as well. Which leads to the next question you may be thinking… why haven’t I gone and gotten the tooth taken out yet?

Well for one, it needs to be done properly so it is done right. The one doing the procedure needs to be trained in this particular process. If I am experiencing bone pain then my jaw bone has been affected and I want it done as naturally as possible.  For two, those that specialize in this type of work have waitlists. So, I have been busy supporting my body as much as possible in the meantime but will be heading to Texas next month to get a four-hour oral surgery. 

While I wait I have been trying to do what I can to support my body, immune system, and pain with herbal tinctures, liposomal vitamin c, getting sunlight, being in nature, taking probably 15 plus pills of supplements everyday, oil pulling, applying clove oil to the gums, getting sleep but also supporting myself emotionally and recognizing whenever I step towards the shame spiral of all that I “should” be doing and how I need to suck it up and do XYZ. Instead, I notice the spiral and take a step out and honor what my body needs right now. Emotionally that is not easy. I am a go-typeof  person so I have had to shift that go energy that is usually outward to inwards. Make this journey my comfort zone push and challenge. Which to be honest is the hardest part. I can deal with pain. It’s being emotionally, creatively and physically exhausted that takes the biggest toll on me. 

With that my desire is to continue to write about this surprising journey. With the goal to be authentic with the experience and to educate on my whys and reasonings. Granted I am not an expert in this field but I will share with you how things make sense to me.  This series of blogs will be a peak into what has been occurring for me. Who knows who will benefit from my journey but it is nice to sit and write about it. Life always has good reasons for you. I have been on a path to heal both physically, emotionally and spiritually for the last decade and to be honest it feels like this was under the surface and buried just waiting for the “right” time to emerge. That this infection has been there chronically but not causing the obvious symptoms it is now. I think that is because our bodies are so wise that 2-3 years ago if this would have popped up I wouldn’t have had the tools or the emotional capacity to go through it. So, here it is now. Something that desperately is needed to be taken care of and another path to healing on this deep physical level is in motion.  

If you would like to learn more about root canals and the impact they can have here are some places to start.

Root Cause Documentary https://rootcausemovie.com/

The Toxic Tooth https://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Tooth-canal-could-making/dp/0983772827/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+toxic+tooth&qid=1579830074&sr=8-1

Stay tuned for more on my journey.

I Am Talking About It…Uncommon Thing That Can be Impacting Your Thyroid

It’s all connected. Your voice, throat, thyroid and pelvic floor. One being alive, vibrant and flowing will affect the others but shutting one down will also impact the others. This connection between the pelvic floor and your throat has been established since 15 days gestation. So basically you were designed with this connection in place from the beginning.

I am going to break this down into three parts…your 5th energy center, your thyroid, and the pelvic floor and then I will piece them all together for you. 

Your 5th energy center. This is everything around and in your neck. The muscles, your jaw, salivary glands, your throat, voice, parathyroid, and thyroid. This center when in flow opens you to express your voice, ideas, thoughts, and higher genius into the world. It also supports you and your boundaries and for you to express your desires. This may be shut down from social conditioning – being told to ‘quiet down’, ‘be seen and not heard’, ‘no one wants to hear what you have to say’ (I can literally can hear my dad’s voice just typing that one out), and in numerous other ways we have been conditioned to not use our voices. Also, shutting down the voice can be from fear. A fear of rejection or people judging for what you have to express. 

When the voice is shut down it will hold stagnant energy in that area. You expressing your truth is you expressing into the world and thus flowing with your energy. Locking that down will lock your energy down with it. That leads to stagnation and stagnant energy is toxic especially when it holds unprocessed emotions. 

Those unprocessed emotions will get lodged somewhere within your body as your body holds everything and thus can impact your thyroid and its ability to function at its optimal level. Your thyroid has influence over the function of your entire body and how your body uses energy. Your thyroid is also supportive of your pleasure and desires. Thus when it’s in a state of imbalance it can cause a decrease in libido, sexual desires, and lubrication. 

Your pelvic floor, vagina, and perineum are linked to the throat. And your g-spot links to your thyroid as well. Meaning, nourish the gifts of the g-spot and you can juice up and support your thyroid in the process. I enjoy this self-care, holistic health practice for my thyroid (wink-wink). 

At 15 days gestation, the depressions that later become your mouth and your urinary, GI and vagina openings begin to form. Also, you have a fascia line that runs from your jaw to your pelvis. And not to mention the cranial-sacral connection. When out of alignment on one end it often impacts the other causing pain and other symptoms. But the one connection you can probably make right now is remembering the last time you were stressed, angry or sad and you felt your jaw clench up and noticed your clench your butt, pelvic floor, and lower abdomen as well. When I cry super hard I clench up my jaw, my throat shuts down and I have trouble breathing and speaking. My pelvic region also gets tight both ends are grasping and holding on. Makes sense since they are connected. 

So let me piece this all together now. 

Let’s start from the top

1. You repress your voice, emotions or your truth. 
2. Creates a shut down in the 5th energy center resulting in stagnant energy and unprocessed emotions.
3. This can negatively impact your thyroid resulting in an imbalance.
4. This creates tension in the pelvic floor. You may store some of the unprocessed energy in the vagina and you may over time start to experience numbness, pain, decrease in pleasure and disconnection from your sexual flow.

Bottom-up approach

1. Disconnect from sexual energy, flow, pleasure, and your innate sexual expression. Maybe a result of social conditioning, trauma, or fear. This causes tension, numbness, and disconnection from the pelvic region.
2. Creates a shut down in your innate expression, owning your truth, bring your ideas into the world, having strong boundaries and showing your most authentic self.
3. This affects the flow of energy in your 5th energy center and creates a build-up of stagnant energy which has an impact on thyroid functioning and thriving. 

Now, here is the fun part. You can change this dynamic. You can support this connection and open the flow. And opening and flowing this connection can be so juicy and pleasurable. 

Here are some tips to get you started. 

1. Relax your jaw. Lie back open your mouth relax your jaw, put your tongue to the back of your front teeth and then direct your breath down into your vagina and back up. You may feel like making sounds on the exhale. If so, do it. It will help to move any stagnant energy. Also, next time you are receiving pleasure come back to this. Remember to relax the jaw will relax your pelvic floor and will open the flow for even more pleasure.
2. Exercise your voice. Communicate about things big and small. And allow yourself to make sounds when your body desires.
3. Cat cow pose with your tongue out. Add a little wiggle of the booty in cow and tune into your jaw and all of your pelvic region while doing it.

Now that you are aware you can start to re-open the flow once more. This will allow you to be able to express who you are, thrive emotionally, physically and energetically, and experience the juiciness of your sexual flow in a nourishing connection way. 

I have a 7-day practice that will connect you to your sexual energy flow every day and guide you to nourishing a different energy center each day (Day 5 will be the throat) that you can access here (it will open in FB messenger).

Enjoy re-opening this flow as it’s so juicy and nourishing for your whole body.

Thrive in Your Relationship, Thrive in Life

Do you often hear in your head “well…It’s good enough”. The “it’s good enough” is not only affecting your relationship but that ripples into other areas of your life whether you like it or not. If you are accepting that it is what it is, it will never change, or I can manage my life with my relationship being where it is, then what else are you just accepting?

Are you throwing in the towel on you rising into the best version of yourself too? What about where you are at work/business? Good enough? What would shift if you knew you had the grit, courage, determination to suit up and make the changes needed so you can thrive in all areas of your life? When you accept less than thriving and flourishing in one area, then it shows you are willing to sit in that state for multiple areas.

I talk a lot about personally thriving but you may not realize the impact your relationship has on you thriving in all areas. When you thrive, your relationship can thrive everything else can thrive too. Reverse that and you can see the impact on you accepting less than thriving. This blog will be focused on your relationship.

So, first things first…. You must get out of your head and do a reality check in with your inner wisdom. This check-in needs to be around if you are 100% all in willing to do what it takes to bring your relationship to thriving status. Notice how I am asking about you? Yes, this includes your partner of course but you will never be able to force change on another person.

Wait, I think I need to say that one again…you will never be able to make someone else change. But, when you are all in then you can start to make the shift with yourself that will, in fact, impact your relationship. One that comes with truly surrendering into you not being able to force change on your partner is discovering how to accept and love them for where they are at.

Okay, now that you know you are all in and willing to accept them for where they are currently now, do another check in. What are you deeply desiring that you feel you are not currently getting? How can you personally fulfill that role? Can you feel the difference between “ I want this and then handing it to someone else to give it to you vs. I want this oh, alright then let’s get it”? One sets you up for disappointment and one sets you up for empowerment.

When you want to thrive in your relationship which way feels better? But, here is the catch…you have to do the work to make those needs met. That may mean you have to learn to hold yourself in ways you don’t understand in this moment, you need to activate pleasure and your own sensuality, and you may need to realize in all the ways you are giving your power away and start to take it back. You may think that well if “I don’t go to my partner for this and that, won’t they feel……?”

I want to invite you into a relationship without the energy of them having to meet your needs and expectations. How freeing would it be for them to have more space and for you to let them off the hook? Would that energetically and physically open up space for you to creating a thriving relationship? And what if it shifted from them needing to meet my needs to this is a safe and supportive container that we both show up in? Knowing you can support one another fully can transform your relationship.

The third thing. You have to start communicating. This is the thing that is missing in so many relationships but it is the key to creating a thriving one. I know you have heard probably a million times the key to a good relationship is communication. But, let’s be honest. If you are like me, I took that as ok cool I will communicate what’s important and what they need to know. If you stay at that level your relationship will stay at it’s good enough level too. You need to start communicating about everything. And I mean everything. Where you literally get to the point of getting sick of communicating and talking and then you need to talk some more. Invite them into a relationship that is based on open and honest communication and when they accept then you can create what that looks like and means for you. You both create that container and then you have a place that free to express what needs to be expressed.

Oh, go read my blog on tips to communicate that will help too.

But, communicate everything. The things that were hardest for me to communicate were the things I felt I would be judged for, he would take personally and get hurt and the things I felt deep shame over like some sexual desires. But, to have this container built so your relationship thrives you need to learn how to hold yourself through things your partner may be saying that can trigger you. And when I say hold, I mean to hold.

Feel into where you feel hurt, what you are making it mean about you and how you can support the part of you that feels scared. If you are building this open honest communication container then that means your partner gets to join. So you get to not only be the one talking but also receiving which both can be so transformative.

Here are three things to get you started with talking: what do you fear around your relationship? What do you love? And what do you desire?

Thriving is within reach if you choose to do the work to get there. It takes 100% yes, courage, commitment, and action. Are you willing?

Let me know what your biggest takeaway was from this chat. Notice how thriving in one area can open you to thrive in all areas. Why accept anything less?

Ready to reclaim your sexuality and uplevel your leadership? Then this is most likely for you.

Ready to activate these parts of leadership with your sexual energy? Dive deeper in eight days. Feel the shift, notice the difference and feel the activation. Click the button below to start your daily practice.

Communicating Your Needs Is Not Hard With These Simple Tips

Effectively communicating your needs and desires to your partner in life and business, or any other person you need to speak with, is much more simplified than you are led to believe. I used to avoid conversations that were deeper and mattered because I feared the reaction. So, I would hold in what I really wanted or needed to express until I would just lose it and explode. Let’s just say, this rarely ended in good results in multiple relationships in my life.

The exploding often carried lots of pain and resentment but really the only person I should have resented was myself for not speaking up. Well, that all changed when I learned these tips and started to communicate about everything. Literally everything.

Let me break it down into steps for you. Once you communicate in this way it will become second nature for you because… it works!

Step 1.

Is it the right time, place and appropriate environment?

The car and long road trips generally are not the ideal time or place for deep conversations. There is nowhere to escape if it goes south plus the person driving needs to pay attention to the road thus they can’t make eye contact and makes their body language trickier to read.  I always ask now before I start talking and hubby does the same. It’s a simple ask “Is this a good time to talk?” And the cool thing is when this is your container you can always say “yes, no or later I am free.” Just because they ask doesn’t mean you have to drop everything to talk and vice versa.

Step 2

Set up the conversation with a good thing. Bring in the positive. This will lower the guard and make them more settled to have the conversation. Without this step, it may just feel like an attack and when I personally feel attacked I attack back. Usually, that doesn’t make for a clear and deep conversation. “I love it when you do”, “you know what is amazing about you”, “us”, “this relationship, friendship, etc.”, “ I really enjoy it when you do…” are some examples to help you to get going on the positive note

Step 3

Clearly express what you are wanting, needing or desiring and why you need it. The biggest emphasis on the WHY. Why do you need it? You may need to sit with that for a moment to gain clarity prior to your conversation but when you know why and can speak to that why then it means something on a deeper scale.

For example, I used to get super annoyed if I would ask for the trash to be taken out and not be done. Why did that matter so much to me? It wasn’t because of the overflow, smell or anything like that. It mattered to me because for me trash being taken out helped me to feel cared for. Now, you may find that silly but deep within that was the meaning for me. When I expressed that then it was no longer just trash being taken out it was now an act of service (my love language) in which I felt cared for and that hubby could 100% understand.

Step 4

Now they know the why the next step is to give crystal clear action steps. When I ask for the trash to go out can it be done within the next 8 hours, please? Clear, defined and it’s an action. If you are desiring a date night then what is the clear action steps: pick a day, time, location, how often, etc…

The clearer the better. Then no one is left wondering or guessing. When things are vague then it leaves a lot of room for interpretation which may not end well.

Step 5

Now it’s their turn to talk and for you to be receptive. This is the time for you to take in what they have to say and feel around the discussion. This is a very important step and one that took a lot of time in my relationship to master but once I allowed him the space to speak what he needed to say and I was receptive and not triggered then he learned to fully trust this new way of communicating. Plus, it allowed him to feel safer speaking his needs too.

I am curious if you find this helpful? Is it something you already do or feel would shift things within your relationships?

Message me and let me know.

Oh, if you would like to hear me talk about this then check out my live from this week.

And if you feel you have trouble speaking your needs then grab my energy activation audio because that will help you to use your life force energy to move stagnant energy from the throat and strengthen your voice.

This is Why You Want to Tap into the Power of Your Cycle

I don’t know about you but I used to only think about my cycle as I am on and if it is over yet. As soon as I would get pissy and my skin would break out I would think ‘hmmm the next one is on its way’. I never thought how the change in my hormones week to week would affect anything other than my mood and my skin.

It wasn’t until someone brought this conversation to me about working with your cycle that I started to look more into it. Actually, I think it was when I was reading Woman’s Anatomy of Arousal that the light bulbs clicked and I knew right then I needed to start to pay more attention and make changes that will support my body vs trying to pretend nothing was occurring. I now want to bring this conversation to you so you may choose to make changes that can help impact your life and business as well.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Day 1 of your cycle is your first bleed day. Typical bleeds last 3-7 days. This is the menstrual phase of your cycle. Like the moon your cycle has phases. So in this phase, it’s the time to let your bleed flow as well as your emotions. During this time you are physically letting go and you can emotionally let go as well. Release what is no longer serving you. You may notice that during this time you become more analytical on top of emotional.

That is because the hormones at this time are bridging the gap between the two sides of your brain: Bringing your left brain, who likes to analyze, with the right side that tends to be more emotional. The gift in this is when you go more inward during this time, get cozy and comfortable, you are often way more insightful by really feeling and knowing things that may be out of your awareness at other times.

This helps me to feel into what may need to change for me to get to where I am going. This also means that I need the time to go inward, which also means taking some time off from serving others. Literally, during the first two days of my bleed, I am cozy in bed and I sleep more. I tend to write, meditate and just be with me. My hubby and my kids know this time is my time and hubby gladly gets tagged in as I check out. I also do not do my typical exercise routines during the first couple of days of my bleed as well. I literally check in, tune in and honor what she needs during this sacred time. And yes, I just used the word sacred which a couple of years ago I would have never thought I would be able to view this time in this way.

The next phase is follicular. This phase starts at the end of the bleed and lasts 7-10 days. Your energy is increasing. You feel more vitality and may be wanting to create a new life. Maybe you’re thinking about new projects, business adventures or literally think about creating life. You have a more upward and onward approach during this time. Your brain is so online you feel crazy smart, connected, on fire, sexy and you are shining brightly. You may find yourself more socially outgoing during this phase as well. This is a great time to get into mapping out projects you have been considering or planning or fun outings with loved ones.

The next phase is ovulation. This will last 3-5 days. Your estrogen and testosterone are high. You may find yourself feeling super sexy and desires flowing through your mind and body. The cool thing is during this phase you are speaking about your desires, needs, projects, ideas, etc easier. The hormones are supporting you in speaking about what you need. This means it’s a great time to have any important conversations you may have been putting off.

This is also a great time to ask for a raise or close that big sale. Your energy is at its highest here. So, getting tasks checked off the do list is done with more ease. Your mind is more open to hearing, feeling, seeing possibility, plus you are oozing with creative energy. I mean think about what your body is physically prepping at this time….to create life 😊

So, if you are not focused on using that creative energy in making a baby then you can shift it towards creating in business, relationships or anywhere else you want to channel your creative spirit to.

The last phase is the luteal phase which lasts 10-14 days. During this phase, it has a front half and a back half. Your hormones are gradually decreasing during this time so it makes sense that the first half will be a lot like the ovulation phase. So, keep checking those things off the list and using your creative juices and energy to get things done. But, during the second half, you will find your energy will start to diminish. Your thoughts will start to shift more inward. You may see issues and things not working very clearly and start to question it intensely.

This is not the time! I repeat this is not the time to make huge life change decisions: quitting a job, business, ending a relationship, etc… Explore what’s not working, write about it or turn to any tool needed to feel into what’s coming up without you having to pull a trigger on a decision. You will want to bring in more self-care, self-love and have stronger boundaries. Exercise your ‘NO WAY’ more during this phase. You want to decrease the stress and be mindful to not add any more to it.

Innately we know all of this but I noticed for myself, and you may feel the same, that I had to discover this knowledge. The more I connected into my womb and my cycle the more I know it just flowed. Speaking of flow, I highly recommend the MyFlo app. I track phases there and have gained so much insight from the tools the app offers.

To connect more into your womb space you can take five minutes right now and do just that. And if you no longer have a womb or bleeds you still cycle and the energy of your womb is still there. But, lie on your back, put your hands over your womb space and then bring your focus and awareness down into your womb space then start directing the energy of your breath in and out of the womb. Do that for 2-5 mins and notice what you feel.

Also, my 10-min energy activation audio is a perfect longer exercise to connect deeper.

If you want to hear me talk about what you just read, click below to check out my live video.

For any questions or if you want to explore this conversation deeper, click the messenger icon to send me a message.

Why it Matters: Your Personal Power, Pleasure and Sexual Sovereignty

This is probably the question I get the most. Why does it even matter? Just the question has a disempowering undertone.

Why does it matter to own your own power, pleasure and truly feel like a sexually sovereign woman? I am so passionate about this topic, so please – dive in with me.

Let’s start with personal power.

First of all, your sexual energy is a big contributor to your personal power, wellbeing, and alive-ness that flows through you. If you are not tapped into it then that flow is shut off which will affect you fully embracing your full capacity. I know you hear from many well-meaning people ‘tap into your power’. It’s a slogan for so many, but if they are not leading you into your sexual power then are you fully tapping into your power?

Nope, you are embracing other aspects but omitting the one area that is connected to and once embraced will fuel all the rest. This is essential if you are on a journey to feel powerful in other areas like your voice, confidence, body, business, success, etc..

If you are willing to claim the others then take yourself one step deeper and fully reclaim your personal power by embracing your sexual power. Plus, if you are locking your sexual power away then you are using a lot of energy to do so, subconsciously of course, but frankly, that’s wasted energy. Take that energy back and use it for fuel to up-level your personal leadership.

I also want to make sure you know that when I am talking about claiming your sexual energy I am speaking to you about owning this area for yourself. For you to discover how to access it for fuel, nourishment, connection, and power. I am encouraging you to tap in for you. Not to give your energy away. This fuel is yours. Made by you. For you. For you and not for your partner, society or anyone else…

Another reason why it matters is that when you are regaining your pleasure you are owning a whole new level within yourself. Ladies, pleasure is your birth right. You have an organ designed just for pleasure. I seriously view pleasure as my hidden, maybe not so hidden lol, superpower. It is my behind-the-scenes power tool. I turn to pleasure when feeling amazing, sad, angry or when I want a very connective, internal and calming space.

Pleasure is my superpower with all of these domains. Plus, when I really sink into my pleasure I know, without a doubt, how freaking worthy I am. Dropping into pleasure shows me my worth, gifts and power. I feel it and then from there, I am ready to play way beyond my current edges. Owning your pleasure fully, unapologetically equates to you owning all of you. Seriously, I encourage you to try it.

And a HUGE reason why it matters is for sexual sovereignty. Oh, the days are long gone that I am (or my body) is meant to fulfil an obligation or an expectation. No more. She holds no such role. I have fought back from that story that I choose to take on from society and my upbringing. Sharing my sexual energy with anyone is no longer a transactional system.

I do not need to get anything from my partner and I am not there for him to get anything from me. When a transaction is off the table then it becomes a sacred unity between us. When we both own our sexuality 100{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} independent of one another we are not trying to energy vampire each other for personal gain.

We can consciously come together to share a sacred act and energy exchange. For me, this shift has transitioned our sex lives and taken us to a place I didn’t know existed. And don’t get me wrong this switch took a lot of time, awareness, boundaries and deep conversations to get to. But, the first step was me taking ownership of my sexuality, pleasure and my desires.

No longer was he the one that provided those for me. Ah, it was a huge shift but so freaking empowering and freeing. I was no longer looking outside of myself to get my needs met. I could meet my own needs in every area of my life.

Ladies it matters. All of these aspects matter. It matters deep in your body. On a level that may not even be in your full conscious awareness right at the moment. But it matters.

Your sexual energy is the key to your full power. To fuel your life. Nourish your soul. Aid in transformations both personally or within your relationships and for you to stand up feeling connected, alive and empowered so you can lead the life you have always desired.

Did you catch my video where I talked about why it matters?

Unstuck Yourself: Beyond Thinking Your Way Through Being Stuck

I am going to share with you the ways I work through feeling stuck. These tools I use when feeling stuck or frozen with actions, something in business, emotions or when feeling locked down in pleasure. It brings you to beyond just the thoughts and mindset shifts that you probably already know. Being positive, thinking about it in a positive way, etc….

That’s all great and of course helpful but what I found for myself is it got me to the roadblock way up the road. I traveled a good amount but ultimately came to the blockade at the end of the street. These tools will help you get through that blockade.

Before I get to the tools let me chat with you about what I most often see when it comes to feeling stuck. I see most people take the uncomfortable feeling that being stuck brings and then flips it into a sign that you shouldn’t go any further or that you have gone too far turnaround and go back. Now, I see this happening for two reasons.

1. It sucks to feel uncomfortable. It can create a physical uneasiness to the body and let’s be honest most humans don’t enjoy feeling any sort of yuck.

2. When most live disconnected from the body when the body shows up and creates a physical sign for you when I see people take it as a sign to stop. But what most don’t tell you is its usually just your nervous system freaking out and the old energy moving to open the flow that’s been locked down underneath.

And since most don’t talk about it let me tell you these last three days I have pushed myself to new edges and energy has moved causing me to physically get sick, vomit and have diarrhea. But with the old being moved physically I notice a new emerging.

What I want to help you do it adjust the point of view from a disempowering “I feel this it means I am not capable or it’s a sign this isn’t the right path” to a more empowering thought that it just stalls energy causing the uncomfortability. Honor the process use the tools and notice what emerges. When it’s viewed as just stale energy that’s ready to move then it brings it to a tangible place that makes it easier to take action on.

So let’s get into the steps and again these steps are just as powerful for emotional release and enhancing pleasure.

Step 1:

Bring focus and awareness to it. You can’t be conscious of what’s locking you down if you avoid being honest with yourself about it. But here is the cool thing. You don’t need to sit there and analyze it. Think about it and why or who made you feel such a way. You can if you desire but what you need to be aware of is where it shows up in your body and what it feels like.

This gets you out of the pattern of just thinking about things and allows you to notice the effect it has on the inside. Personally, my stuckness shows up in three places. The right side of my neck, lower abdomen, and my chest. When aware and able to see how it is freezing you on a body level then you can start to move the energy locking you down.

Step 2:

Breathe into it. Direct your breath physically or energetically to where it shows up in your body. Your breath acts as an energy mover, it brings more awareness and can activate and deepen your focus and awareness on the area.

Step 3:

Sound it. This step will probably be the one you feel the most “yeah right” about. Especially cause many of us carry the conditioning we must always be quiet but the sound is a mover of energy as well. Once you have focus, awareness and you breathe into where it shows up in your body then you can allow any sound it wants to make to move through you.

Again, like breath sound also moves energy. At first, you may feel super weird but the more you just surrender into it more you will actually notice the energy moving with your sound.

Step 4:

Move your body. The energy is moving with your breath and your sound and your body may want to move as well to help facilitate energy movement. Think of when you have a sore neck. You move it stretch it and try to release the tightness through the movement. Well, the same reason you do it for a stuck muscle is the same reason you can do it for stuck energy keeping you stuck.

Combine them all and you will get through that blockade in any area of your life. You will feel into it deeper, release it on a whole new level and open up flow you and power that was buried underneath.

It takes courage to go into the body. But, if you have thought your way to the blockade honestly the way to go through it is going in. Connect on this deeper level. Unstuck yourself cause you have the tools and the power is within you.

Did you catch my video where I talked about how to get through being stuck?

5 Steps to Moving Your Ideas from an Empowered Place

I, like many women, struggle with taking my ideas and seeing them through to completion. I often get in my own way because thoughts like ‘how can I do this’, ‘I don’t have the knowledge or resources’ or ‘I am not like___’ pop into my brain halting me from taking the steps forward that my soul desires. But what I have discovered and I want to share with you is the way to get out of your own way and create from a newly confident and connected place.

Here are the five steps I personally take that have helped me take action:

1. Feel into the YES. When an idea pops through before even thinking about the logistics of how to make it happen step back and feel into it being 100{5b5c8818b45788ec0393187cda3473631c9bfc58af53ac8c7658cd11646902a3} yes for you. Put your hands over your womb bring your focus and awareness there. Bring your awareness to your creative force and the infinite wisdom that lies within and listen for a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ when it comes to your idea. If it’s a ‘yes’ then right away you know that your divine feminine power desires this and has your back from the start.

2. Tune into the obstacles that may come your way. Studies have shown when you know your obstacles beforehand then you are more likely to push past them when they show up. You are prepared because you saw them as a possibility and so when they arise you know what it takes to push through them.

3. List your actions needed. Make your plan. Take a piece of paper and fold it in half and on one side list all your yang (outward) actions needed and on the other side list, all your yin (inward) actions needed. Often times we focus on the outward actions and completely forget about the inward nourishing ones. Doing this can lead to burn out, disconnect and feeling depleted when creating. Inward actions are just as important as outward ones. Inward actions would be things like meditations, breath work, self-pleasure practices, yoga, journaling, etc… I have a free meditation that can support you and is a perfect yin practice. Just click the messenger button and type “meditation” and you will get access to it in your messenger – or click HERE

4. Tap into your life force energy. Your power has your back. She was already on board from the start and she has fuel, juice, and nourishment to help you move past any areas that may be blocking the way. You may not be at the place yet where you embody this knowing but your sexual energy can be the fuel needed to keep you in action and to support the areas that feel depleted.

5. Know who inside of you understands how to get this done. Connect to the energy and power. There are empowered parts that live within you and they know how to take the actions needed. We all have these empowered parts. You may not yet be aware but once you connect to these parts they literally have your back every step of the way.

Following these five steps over and over will help you to continue to take the actions needed and to feel empowered every step of the way. Everything you need is within. You know how to create confidently and from a connected place. You may just need to take the time to connect, listen and empower the parts of you that know how to stay in action.

Did you catch my live video where I talked about these five steps?