Human Connection

As human beings we long for love and connection.

No matter if you are male or female it’s a core need that we all desire. Andy and I have spoken deeply about providing that unconditional love for our kids. For them to know no matter what, and under all circumstances they are loved.

What this picture is to me is a display of showing that unconditional love from father to son. To show my son that it’s ok to fulfil his need for attachment and for his father to be willing to give him the love he’s desiring.

If this was a photo of Andy with our daughter it wouldn’t be a big deal because she’s a girl. She’s “supposed” to get more love. But son’s need it just as much as daughters do. What do we show our sons when we think it’s “to girly” to give hugs and kisses or to seek physical connection? We are showing them that it’s wrong, not good, not ok for boys, or their love is conditional compared to their sibling? If that’s all they know then what is that programming them for when they start their own relationships? What type of love will they be able to give to their spouse? What will showing love and affection to their own kids look like?

Now breaking the conditioning is not easy. I know conditional love. My husband knows conditional love. But for me being a female I remember witnessing the difference in how my parents connected and showed their love to me and how they showed it to my brothers. I hear the past programming in my husband when I suggest my son give his best mate a hug goodbye and he respond with boys don’t hug they shake hands.

But why can’t boys be allowed to show love, affection, empathy like the rest?

I love watching their relationship blossom. Love seeing their connection deepen. I enjoy witnessing the rewriting of the past and the future that emerges from it.

My son is a gentle, loving, empathic, affectionate, happy, and sweet boy. My job as his mother is for him to allow his beautiful gifts of a human being to continue to flourish.